Never Grow Up
by theprofessormordinsolus
Summary: Her eyes opened to slits as she looked down at her baby boy. "Don't you ever grow up, Draco," she whispered. "I won't let anything happen to you. No one will ever hurt you or leave you. You'll be safe here in my arms. Just don't ever grow up." Review!


**A/N: Hi, this is Lament! So, I usually don't do author's notes on my stories but I thought I'd do it for this one. Anyway, I guess I should warn you that this is my first attempt for writing in the POV of a canon character. I apologize in advance if it isn't as great as my other two. If you have any constructive advice, I will gladly take it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Narcissa Malfoy or anything that you recognize. The plot is mine, though. **

Narcissa Malfoy gasped, coming out of a sound sleep. She looked beside her quickly to see her husband still asleep, breathing deeply. She smiled softly and lifted her hand to caress his cheek. He always looked so peaceful, so angelic when he slept. She knew that this was the only time he didn't have to worry about the war.

The sound of Draco crying brought her from her study of Lucius. She groaned tiredly and slid out of her warm comforter. After one last look at Lucius, she glided out of the room and down the hallway to the nursery where her little dragon lay. She hurried to his crib and picked him up carefully, supporting is head.

"Shhh, my love…" she murmured holding him close to her. "Everything's alright."

She slowly walked to the wooden rocking chair and sat down, summoning Dobby. She told him to bring a bottle of warm formula and with a _snap_ the house-elf was gone. Lazily, she began to rock the chair, humming softly to ease the tears of her son. Gradually, they subsided. She smiled tenderly and leaned down to kiss her son's forehead. He giggled, his small hand touching her cheek. To her, it felt like the touch of a feather.

"Oh, my little dragon, a charmer already," she giggled. She looked up startled when Dobby reappeared.

"Mistress, Dobby's sorry! Dobby did not mean to startle you!" he wailed. She shushed him and took the bottle from his fingers. She told the elf to get on with his duties. She looked down at Draco and smiled.

As she fed him, her thoughts began to wander. The years to come will not be easy, she knew. The Dark Lord is gaining power and it was only a matter of time before the whole of the wizarding world would fall under his reign. She fears those days. Lucius will become a changed a man. One day, he'll come home and she won't recognize him.

She remembered life before the war, before Hogwarts even, when all she worried about was how long Mother would late her stay outside with Bella and Andy. Those days were simple, easy. There are days that she wishes she had never grown up, days that she wishes she could go back and redo.

Draco drained the lost of the formula and yawned, his eyes fluttering shut. She smiled affectionately and slid the bottle from his hands.

Sometimes she envied her son. He has no fears, no worries, no regrets. No one's ever hurt him and left him scarred. He could sleep easily. He was still innocent, still untouched by the darkness in the world.

She remembers being life that once, being innocent. She remembered being anxious for her father to return home every evening. She remembered him scooping her up in his arms as he walked to the kitchen where Mother was always scolding the kitchen staff for taking too long to cook dinner. She remembered eating dinner with her sisters and playing with muggle girls at the park when blood status didn't matter.

_Cissy sat on the steps of the staircase as she waited for Daddy to get home. Bella tells her it was silly to wait everyday but she didn't care. Daddy liked to be greeted with a hug when he gets home._

_Andromeda, Cissy's eldest sister smiled as she passed the stairs."Cissa, what are you doing?"_

"_Waiting for Daddy!" she exclaimed happily. Her sister laughed, patted the top of her head and hurried into the kitchen where Bella and Mama were at. She watched her sister disappear before turning back to the front door. The sound of the lock being undone caused her to stand and walk down the steps hastily. _

_Daddy placed his suitcase on the floor, beside the door, and prepared himself to be launched at by his daughter._

"_Daddy!" she squealed, smiling widely at him._

"_Ah, my little Narcissa," he smiled. "How is my darling?" he questioned as he picked her up and settled her on his hip. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, giggling. "You've been behaving, I hope."_

"_Mhm," Cissy replied with a nod. "Andy took me to the fair, Daddy, and I won a giant teddy bear!"_

Narcissa sighed and stroked Draco's pale brow with her index finger. He reached up in his sleep and curled his hand around her finger. She smiled, watching his eyelids flutter. She stood carefully, walked to his crib and placed him safely under his covers. She turned on his favorite nightlight and left the room.

She did not get far before Draco began to cry again. Her brow furrowed. She walked back to see that he'd flipped himself onto his stomach and could turn back over. She smiled slightly and picked him up. She began to pace the length of the room, praying that he would stop crying.

"_Daddy, where are you going?" ten year old Cissy asked as she followed him out of the house. He didn't answer. He only kept walking, dragging a bag behind him. "Daddy? Daddy, is everything okay? Where are you going?" _

"_I'm going away for awhile, he replied, holding his wand out towards the street. She wondered what he was doing. "You have to stay with your mother."_

"_But I want to go with you," she argued. He looked down at her, sighed and knelt to her height._

"_You can't come with me, Narcissa," he told her._

"_But why?" she asked, her lip quivering. _

"_I have to stay focused on my job, Narcissa, and you'd only be in the way."_

"_You don't want me?"_

"_I didn't say that-"_

"_Then why don't you want me to go with you?"_

"_Narcissa, I want you to but your mother and sisters need you," he said quietly. "Promise me you'll stay with your mother."_

"_I promise."_

"Mistress, Dobby has brought you tea," the elf said. She looked at him gratefully and told him to put it on the table. She moved to the rocking chair near Draco's crib and sat down, holding her son to her chest so that he could rest. Her eyes drifted shut as she recalled one last memory, the memory that took away the last shred of her childhood.

"_But Father-" seventeen year old Narcissa exclaimed as she followed him down to the foyer of the French hotel. "He's a scoundrel! He tried to bed me the year before last. Tell me, is that the sort of man you want your daughter to marry?" _

_Her father turned to her with a frown. "You will marry him, Narcissa. It is your duty to your family to marry young and into a wealthy, pureblood family."_

"_No!" she refused. "You were gone for six and a half years. Why should you be making these decisions when you did not care enough for me to watch me grow up?"_

"_Narcissa, I had my reasons for leaving-"_

"_They were selfish! If you think that I will ever forgive you-"_

"_I don't want to be forgiven, Narcissa. I don't care if you hate me but you will marry him. Lucius comes from a respected family with high connections. You can't do better than him."_

"_I will not marry him!" she exclaimed, disrupting the guests in the hotel. She gasped at the sudden stinging pain in her left cheek. She grasped it, looking at her father in loathing. How dare he strike her?_

"_You will, Narcissa, and goddamn it, you'll do it with a smile on your face!"_

A tear slid from her closed eyes. She quickly wiped it away and sighed.

Ever since that day, her life has gotten so much colder, so much harder than she thought it could ever be. Things are complicated, twisted. She wishes she had never grown up. She could still be easy. Things could still be simple. Her Father could still love her.

Her eyes opened to slits as she looked down at her baby boy. "Don't you ever grow up, Draco," she whispered. "I won't let anything happen to you. No one will ever hurt you or leave you. You'll be safe here in my arms. Just don't ever grow up." 


End file.
